"talk"

So I "talked" to Bill today. And the quotes are there cuz really I just texted him, but it was one of our marathon hours long text conversations where dozens of messages are sent. Last time I was in Iowa City I didn't bring up moving to Seattle. Mostly because we were at the Farley's and it would have become a huge "where is your life going" deal. Also because at the time I didn't have as much of a plan.

Of course it comes up today. And it's a lot to explain in text messaging format. So four long messages later the only response I get is "Who's Matt?" Well, one of my best friends from high school. "Oh ok. Sweet" Does that seem weird to anyone else? That's what you just chose to focus on? no other questions. just that. and then it occurs to me that I'm not so good at sharing the details. Amy and Kinsey know all about my friends from high school because they were there for 4 years of the stories and the ridiculousness. But does anyone else really? What does that sound like out of context?

I'm very all or nothing with friendships. If you want to know that you have to be willing to hear about all this other stuff, because if I'm gonna trust you I want you to know it all. It's amazing how alcohol has MADE some of these friendships just happen.

In high school I was told that people couldn't figure me out, I was too private. They felt like I knew everything and they knew nothing. So I tried to change. And I think I really did. As much as you can when you're 17. (like at 22 I'm so much better) And then, I had that huge fight with Abby. And all of a sudden trusting people didn't seem worth it anymore. Sophmore year wasn't the best year for me. I know that now. And I can see the reason behind what I did, and the good that has come out of the bad. So now I'm trying to get back to that place I was freshman year. It's slow, but I'm trying. So be patient. Ask me questions, and make me answer them. Deep down I really want to, but I think I'm still just a little bit afraid.

afraid of seeming weak, afraid that you'll get sick of listening to me, afraid that you'll use what you know against me somehow, afraid that I'm not the person you think I am and once you find out you'll like me less.

Nicknames are weird. Especially the ones that seem to stick long past all context being lost. In my life I've been expected to respond to:

Mel
Rachel
Sporty Spice
Terri
Junior
Blue

Those last few are from work. And nothing confuses a customer more than wearing a name tag that says alex and responding to the name Terri. One coworker actually thought that was my real name, but i went by alex. Terri Alexandra Thiel...like Brian Luke Pomranke. this girl seriously came up to me and said, "yea I wouldn't go by terri either." But then again this is the only person I've ever met who in one day had drama involving her boyfriend, her husband and her childrens dad. yea. she's great though, I love working with her.

Junior, because our new store Captain is named alex also. Blue, as in, "you're my boy Blue! 'all my life, nothing lasts forever..." Thank You old school. Spring Break 2000! Off Road adventure!

Anyway. Nicknames are weird.

work

I was right. I never actually was able to talk to my boss about that project. But on the up side we got Jimmy Johns for dinner. I'm so easy to placate. Blow off my important questions but feed me good subs and I'm content. Hopefully tonight I can pin him down and make my point clear.

Cheese is all pretty and re-merchandized. Basically we had to take everything apart, clean, re-organize, put it back together. It took longer than we expecter but we also spent a good hour or so slacking and goofing around. ah well.

go off on tangents

Lately I keep starting things but never finish. Like books. And mix cds. And projects at work. And cleaning my room. Oh yea and probably the biggest one... my website.... The worst part is I see this and yet i can't bring myself to change it.

I don't work until 6 pm tonight. So I had all day and could have gotten so many different things done. At the very least I could have cleaned my room, finished those cds and made some webpages. nope. None of the above. I woke up at 7 am. I read for a couple hours. (so I guess I kinda made some progress) I took a nap. I ate some lunch. I watched Empire Records. And now I'm back at the computer.

So I work today from 6 pm to 3 am. Why? you ask. To re-merchandise cheese. Yea I don't know what that means either. But I can tell you all about it tomorrow.

I realized the reason I haven't really posted anything lately is because all I do is work and sleep and spend time online. Which doesn't seem all that interesting to me. But I've decided to begin posting about it anyway. And maybe it will lead me to more interesting topics to talk about. For example this post has just gotten ridiculous with its miscellanity. yes that's right I like to make up words.

Tonight at work I'm supposed to talk to my boss about one of those projects and why I've seemingly stagnated and how we can fix that. Hopefully it will be a good meeting. I predict, however, that we'll talk about it, but nothing will be changed to help me get the job done.

So I'm caving in. I need an mp3 player, and have needed one, but I couldn't bring myself to buy an iPod. It seemed too cliched, too mainstream. And this isn't something I usually have a problem with, but this time it bothered me. Now I'm caving. But to be different I'm buying the black one. When was the last time you saw someone with the black iPod? I don't think I ever have. The question is, what to have engraved on the back. By purchasing online, I get free shipping and two lines of 27 characters to be engraved for free. It's actually more space than it sounds like. I've been trying to come up with something better than "alex's iPod" because if that's the best you can do, you really shouldn't be engraving anything at all. Let me know if you have suggestions.

Make Mix Tapes... cds? whatever...

So I noticed today that when I make a general mix cd there's a similar feel to all the songs. Sure the list includes two or three songs that are added on purely because they're new and I can't get them out of my head, but most fit together. I suppose this shouldnt' be a surprise. The interesting part, and of course the point I'm trying to make, it what the common theme seems to be. This most recent cd can be summed up as songs about missing the last stage of life you left. About wanting to go back and the memories of those people/places/events.

Huh. I didn't know I was feeling like that. The crazy (impressive?) thing is the variety of songs. It's not like I put together a list of tracks that are all slow and "woe is me! I miss..."

Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Toxic Toast?
Hot Hot Heat - Shame on You?
Monty Python - The Galaxy Song?!?!?!

How did I not realize the theme sooner? Of course there are songs that were obvious:

Remy Zero - Perfect Memory
Fountains of Wayne - Hackensack

But that's just a handful of songs. So apparently... I've been in a remembering kind of mood lately. Who knew.

websites

Hey, so I have a website now. part of a website? sure. www.gangstaninjasfrombrewcity.com I didn't pick the name. Blame Matt and Drew. Most likely it's entirely Matt's fault. There's nothing too interesting up there. Check it out anyway. Go on. DO IT you know you want to.