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After much "research" I've determined that the most interesting blogs are the ones where the writer is most willing to share... everything. And so I have to decide if I'm willing to do that. What if people I know start to read it? What if I talked about them? What if I have a huge complex about needing people to like me and they find out and then like me less (or something insecure like that)? So if I'm going to keep posting here do I have to just take that chance, say whatever happens happens, I don't have to explain myself any further? Why is that such a hard thing to do? Why did I already post a link to the website I put pictures at? Does that mean I've already decided that I'm ok with sharing? or are pictures less personal and therefore I don't care who sees them?

It is all or nothing. Sharing sucks. It means letting people know things that can be used against you. Why can't I trust people like that? Why do I keep people in my life that have already broken that trust and therefore make me all the more wary about sharing in the future? Why is this week's bible passage Luke 17:1-10 which includes one of the verses that has always haunted me, Luke 17:4 " If [your brother] sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him." It's just so much easier to cut people out. Not that that's any better in the long run. Because then 2 years go by and you haven't seen the person who used to be your best friend, the person you weren't afraid to share with, and they're at a party and all you can say is "hi" and hide in the kitchen with the keg, telling yourself that you aren't avoiding her, you're just being social with all these other people you haven't seen in a few months. And then there's the friend who you've talked to about your bad habit of cutting people out and she can relate and you start to share with her too, but no it turns out sometimes she's even worse because she's a hypocrit and will throw things back in your face. But you're too nice to even betray her like that, no matter how much you want to shout her secrets to the world, so everyone can see who she really is.

Well I guess I've decided to share.

I'll try and still include random stories like I originally planned, but this may turn into one big vent more often then not.