Say goodbye

This is Shadow:



When we first got her she was 4 months old and as you can see had huge ears and paws, but was pretty skinny. Everyone kept telling my mom that she looked adorable, but wow was she going to get big. This didn't really help me out any, seeing as I had told her that she probably was as big as she'd get already.





She loved Christmas because of the tree and the wrapping paper. Every year we'd get her a new toy, but she was always far more interested in the paper and ribbon that went everywhere as gifts were unwrapped.



Shadow was an obedience school drop out. She barked too much. She only learned two or three tricks. Sit, Wait and Don't just run out the door first. The last she learned at school when she was the "example dog" and the trainer squashed her head in the doorway. It wasn't as horrible as it sounds. It was actually pretty funny. She learned Wait as the first step in me trying to teach her to balance food on her nose. She never actually made it to step two. But she got pretty good at step one.



The first time I went away for more than a few days she didn't know what to do and camped out in the doorway of my bed room. When I went to college she didn't really understand that either and I think it confused her all the more when I'd come home for a day or two.



The last couple weeks she had been deteriorating fast. Her back right leg started to give out and she'd sway every few steps. She also couldn't really do stair anymore. Up or Down. I'm glad we didn't drag it out. The decision was made. The next day it was over. She was 12 and a half. Big dogs usually only live to be 9 or 10. Doesn't make it hurt less.



Now it just hurts when I forget that she's gone. Like I wake up and go to take her outside. Or I get home at 2 am and expect to see her at the top of the stairs. Her food and water dishes are gone. The toys too. At least I got the chance to say good bye.